Somebody slapped a "kick me" sign on my karma...

You know the Farside where Gary Larson shows what the world looks like from a bird's perspective,where the humans all have a bright red target on the top of their heads?

Yeah...I think I have one of those, except mine is a little more fatal. I think the worst part of it is that I find all of these distinctly hilarious.

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1) I almost got hit by a car today. In the middle of the crosswalk. At bright sunny noon. And after I had made what I thought was eye-contact with the driver in question. The look I gave her was pretty much the same one in the picture above. Bless her. At least her lip gloss application wasn't marred by that transaction.

2)Later on in the day I was also line-drived by a 4 foot, power suit wearing girl who insisted on taking up as much sidewalk space as her petite frame would allow. She didn't even show any sign of acknowledgment that she was the source of my looney-toons type flailing (it was extremely graceful). NyAaaaaaaa-What's up, doc?

3)And then there was a couple that almost made me roadkill as they rode their bicycle. I can only assume they were practicing their "Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid: bicycle scene" or were doing their Clown Practicum 101 homework.

4) (are you sick of reading yet?) A saxophone player, a string bassist, and a soprano all took time out of their busy schedules to stampede me on my way down a hallway. It's possible that I somehow had become invisible for that particular moment (I do that, you know) but I'm skeptical.

5)And finally, a young Evel Knievel impersonator on a Vespa used me as a what I must assume was part of his "barrel-riding" routine. It was pretty good- he waited until he was a whopping 2 inches from my deer-in-headlights impersonation before swerving to the side and waving cheekily at his screaming fans. I firmly hold the belief that any man who rides a scooter outside of Rome, Italy should be liberally mocked, but I think he actually pulled it off.

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Suffice to say, I've been a little worried about helicopters and airplanes that have been passing overhead.

Here's to hoping I survive until tomorrow :)

-Cheers