Добро пожаловать к солнечный Калифорния!

Before you continue, I just want to pass along the advice my pal, the Surgeon General, would like to give some advice concerning the rest of this blog post. Stevie K. Galson says*: "Hiya girls and boys! Danielle's blog is awesome, but today's post has the written fluidity of a troupe of cub scouts on a trampoline with pixie-sticks and nerf guns. Suffice to say, reading a post this random may be harmful to your attention span. Proceed with caution."
Thanks Steve!

Bow before the glory of my Russian skillz. Be enthused but slightly intimidated in awed silence in contemplation of my towering intellect. Ok- so by this point half of you have gone to babelfish and discovered (much to your delight!) that the phrase says: "Welcome to sunny California!"
...what?
ok, so my ability to look everything up on google, my "special gift" if you will, is not really a valid claim to intellectual prowess. However, it HAS come to my attention that my ability to count to four while playing the flute is esteemed as "so smart". sweet. The (nerdy) joke here is that the band gets a kick out of how the flutes are on the front row, but seem to have the inability to count more than 8 measures of rest. yep. It is hard to keep track of all the things you have to do in an ensemble, but I don't think that counting should be one of them. After all, that's the first step most of us take when learning music for the first time. It should be semi-natural now. anyway... *leaps off of soapbox*

I've noticed during lunch today that all of the meals I've prepared for the last 2 days were made of things that start with letter "c" or the "kh" sound. Not only that, but they all included the colors green and orange - let me show you what I mean:
-grilled CHICKEN with CELERY and CILANTRO
-CHEESE QUESADILLA with CARROTS and a COOKIE
-CRACKERS with CREAM CHEESE
-CREAM of CHICKEN soup and an Orange (which happens to be orange!)
-CABBAGE and CELERY and CARROTS and an Orange bell-pepper in a Salad.
-Orange CHICKEN with CUCUMBER and COOKIE'S and CREAM ice cream.
weird. It's like I've somehow gone into an alternate dimension of my own existence without even knowing it. Gee Wiz - I wish I remembered that quantum physics section that we covered in my AP Astronomy class.... or maybe I've just entered the twilight zone. No - Edward is not here. I have a thorough dislike of said vampire and will assault him with garlic cloves and toothpicks if I get the chance.
Ok - before all of the rabid teenaged fangirls come after me with wooden stakes let me just say that Edward is one of the nicest (fictional) vampires I have ever met. He has good (fictional) intentions, albeit moody and emotionally damaged ones. I just don't want to (fictionally) hang out with him. He'd be cool, what with the musical base (we could talk about Haydn, Liebermann, and Spoon!!!!) and he knows about cars, art, and apparently makes a mean omelet. It's just the fact that if we went with some of our fine fictional friends to the fictional bowling alley, poor Edward would suffer from his self-inflicted plague of incompetency every stinking time he sent a polished boulder down an alley.
"Oh woe is me", cried Edward as he fell languidly to the floor, his hair blowing in the rhetorical wind. "I could get a strike every time, but I'm so distracted by my eternal condemnation"
"Oh Edward - come bite me so I can join you!!!"
"Oh Bella - my dearest little buffoon. Come closer so I can insult you candidly while we bask in my depression"
Bella's heart beated louder than a Korean drum festival as Edward chuckled sardonically at her. As Edward looked up through his veritable orchard of eyelashes, Bella found herself entranced - nay- bewitched by his toffee-butterscotch-peanutbrittle-coffeestain colored gaze. Nearly comatose, she crawled over to his side. As he reached for her, all of the buttons on Edward's designer shirt burst off in response to his utter manliness and charisma, exposing pasty white but phosphorescent musculature.
"Oh, " gasped Bella "you're shiny."
"That's it" growled Edward. "I want to make out now - I was planning to grapple with my self loathings in a dark corner for the next five hours, but I'm so perfect I should be able to multi task!"
(insert description of whose lips did what and Bella's thoughts on the meaning of life, vampirism, love, and global warming)
and -SCENE-
It's not that I don't like the books. It's not that I don't like the Author. Stephanie Meyer amazes me. I just have a hard time liking Edward because he's kind of a whiner. And he's overly possessive. And his "heroic" traits remind me of myself at my worst. And he likes country music. End rant**

Now I have some homework to pretend to do, so I'll catch you all later - Ta!


*Rear Admiral Steven K. Galson, M.D., M.P.H. didn't actually say this. I referenced his name purely for the sake of comedic allusion. Don't sue me, America. Thanks.
**Dearest rabid fangirls: don't sue me either. Thanks.