Little voice

Hello all! Yes, I'm still alive. Yes, I still love you very, very, very, very, very much. Yes, I still have a deep love of Elvis (sorry Nick).
Student teaching is all they said it would be. They being the many varied and opinionated perspectives I've heard, read, and sometimes got ambushed with. It's frightening, exciting, illuminating, confusing, frustrating, rewarding, and generally pretty hard, fun work. It takes about 40 years off your life by the time you hit the couch with some soup, slippers, and Psych at 7 PM. I yell so much in the day that I come home sounding like a sexy rocker on a good day and a chain smoker most days. There's a LOT of preparation involved - more than I was prepared to face, ironically. In fact, I should be working on my lesson plans for this week right now, but I needed a break, so I thought I'd come write to you lovely people;)
 Don't be too concerned about me - I know I've been frazzled and kind of distant lately, but I'm ok. Plus, Ryan Gosling has my back. I may not be the most incredible student teacher in the world, and I have A LOT to learn, but I find that people can tell that I really, really care about people. That's probably my best and worst quality, but I find I'm in good company with these teacherly types. I'm also stupidly stubborn about lots of things, so I'm not giving up anytime soon.
Life speeds by, and I find more and more that my presence in the classroom is more of a good thing than a bad thing, and that's the best thing I can expect of myself right now. I'm truly blessed with great teachers and mentors and a comfortable place to live. Everything is just chock full of tender mercies - despite the rough stuff, there's so much to be glad for. Life's great, isn't it?
My new ward is really great, and we just got a crazy new French roommate yesterday, so life outside of work is comfortable and fun. This week I'm thinking of joining an institute class and going dancing with my girlfriends.  Onwards and upwards!

The Trial of Our Faith Is More Precious than Gold

Life is hard. No duh, Danielle. Everyone at least at one point or other in their life has felt the pressure of hardship and wondered why we face adversity. Many feel that it's just because it's part of living, and shrink from the idea of God because they feel that a loving God would never hurt His children. Others feel all our struggles are results of sin, and therefore are punishments, and the righteous have no troubles. Some even feel that we are merely pawns in a cosmic game, carelessly pushed around for the entertainment of some unseen, uncaring power. 

What if I told you that I believe troubles, trials, hurt, fear, pain, adversity, are all opportunities and proponents of change? That these difficult decisions and moments can become catalysts that propel us into becoming whatever we choose to be? 

 

Paul thought so, too. Paul had a LOT of hard things in his life, especially when he was trying to do his best. This man of faith was imprisoned, beaten, threatened with death, hated by his countrymen, mocked by people in high places and never really had a place to call home. And yet, he said trials were more precious than gold (1 Peter 1:7). He continues to say that (verses7-9) "the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:   Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:   Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls."  Trials try, improve, and provide a way for us to test our faith. 

 

Because this life is an opportunity to test and improve ourselves and choose what we want to be, there are problems as numerous and unique as the people in it.  Some problems arise simply from the fact that we make mistakes. Others may be from the mistakes or choices of others, or other things we can't control, like the circumstances we are born to, or the shifting environment around us. As diverse and varied as they all are, we all share the opportunity to rise above them. The Atonement of Christ can help with that.

Paul compares us in our trials as being metal in its refining process. One of my favorite instances of this idea is in 1st Corinthians 3(: 10-23). Faith, like all other skills, needs to be tempered. Precious stones and metal only become their strongest after years of pressure, heat, and beating. But when they get through, they become something incredible strong and pure. In verse 13 Paul says "Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is." We learn slowly, and with a lot of opposition, but if we remain resilient we can become incredible. If we trust Him, and allow Him to work in us we will be enabled to do ALL things. Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

I'm inclined to believe against a popular phrase - life IS fair. God knows us all so well that He knows exactly what is the best for our growth. We are not exactly the same, so why should our challenges be the same? He is our Father, and a perfect being. Things happen for a reason, especially trying things. We are not destined to be what others say of us, or to be defined by when or where we were born. We are defined only by what we do with what is given us, the good and the bad. We choose our own destiny, and through the help of God, we can be truly great. Sometimes this means we must struggle - but how would we know how strong we are if we never had to fight against difficult things? How would we ever learn?

As for those who ridicule you, chances are that they themselves are struggling against something, and pointing out your weaknesses makes them feel better about themselves. None of us have acheived perfection - that's why we're here.  

 

 

Marianne Williamson wrote:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 

(A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles", Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3])

 

Trials are here to help us make manifest that glory of God that is in ALL of us. He will help us get there - all we have to do is follow Christ's example and keep our faith bright and strong.

 

God speed! 

Living as Saints should live

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints sometimes get some raised eyebrows when people hear our full name. Nicknamed "mormon" for one of our books of scripture, most people wonder why it is that we insist on being called by our full name. The most important reason is that we are Christians. We believe that Jesus Christ was foreordained, or chosen, from the beginning to be the Savior of mankind. He lived a perfect life filled with loving service, suffered for our sins, and ultimately died for us. Through Him, we can be forgiven of our sins and have eternal life with Him and God if we choose to follow the guidelines that They gave us, guidelines which can enable us to become like Them.
Ok, so what's the next part of our name mean? What in the world is a "latter-day saint"? No, we don't worship or pray to saints. We do think that many of those people are wonderful, righteous people who have done remarkable things, but we don't worship them. The saints in our name refers to ourselves. Presumptuous? Might sound like it, huh? What we mean by it is that we are people who seek to be sanctified - those who try their best to become like our Heavenly Father and follow the example of our Savior. When we do those things which Christ would do, we are purifying our lives, thus sanctifying us and helping us to become saints. In other words, it's not a title we have now, but something we work for.

To put it simply, we are followers of Christ who try to be like Him and also ask for His help in helping us become the best we can be - like God.

So what is it that a Saint should do? I'll give you some examples:
(if you have a Bible, most of the things I'm talking about come from Romans chapters 12-15)

• Romans 12:1 Saints dedicate their lives to obeying God's commandments and serving others
• '' 12:2 Saints cultivate their minds, seek after truth, and don't conform to worldly perspectives
• 12:9 Saints seek after good things and reject bad things. 
• 12:13 Saints treat others with love and charity
• 12:16  Saints aren't full of themselves - they always treat others how they would like to be treated.
• 12:21 Saints "overcome evil with good"  - they don't sit back and watch bad things happen. Saints step up to the plate.
• 13:1 Saints seek and acknowledge the help of God
• 13:3 Saints use their talents and influence for good and unselfish purposes
• 13:8 Saints are organized and responsible, thus are able to take care of others
• 13:9 Saints do not go against the will of God. They don't: commit adultery, steal, cheat, kill, lie, embrace greed, think or say bad things about others, or deliberately disobey commandments of God. A person who is sanctified, purified by their faith, works, and the grace of Christ's atonement is a person who loves their neighbor as themselves.

I'm not a saint yet. I am striving to be, and I know that through Christ's redeeming love I can work at it and get there someday, and be able to live with God, forever. I know that if we do the things that saints would do, we can become saints - practice is the best recipe for success.

I am made all things unto men.. too much

I've been having a stretching part of my life - I dislike the idea of describing difficult situations as "breaking points" or "breaking down" whenever something gets rough. I prefer to think of these kinds of situations as stretching moments. When the world would say that something should break my heart, I hope that I'm pliable enough for my heart to stretch, and make room for more love and more willingness to serve.
My struggle lately has been balancing my needs in my schoolwork with my growing responsibility as a teacher and as a Relief Society president. I'm not too important - I'm a pretty ordinary person born into an extraordinary life, who has a LOT of things to share with others who aren't as blessed. My wishes are simple, but kind of hard sometimes. I find them repeatedly in the words of the prophets: Hebrews 12:12-13, Ether 12:4, Philippians 1:7-11, Words of Mormon 1:7-8. I can't and won't profess to be at the same level as these amazing men, but my some of my desires are the same. Slowly and little by little, nothing else really seems to matter but helping others. But other things do matter - if I were perfect, perhaps I could do that, every day, but I'm learning the hard way that sometimes I need to work on things for myself before I can help others. That stinks.
In my reading this week, I've found that Paul and I seem to have similar problems in this area - we try too hard to be all things unto all men. But I'm not all things. Many things I am, like goofy, musical, cheerful, and obliquely intelligent, but I haven't arrived at that distant finish line of everything. Being a slow runner, it might take me some time, too.
Paul had an incredible  amount of responsibility for nurturing the early church and preaching the gospel beyond his own corner of the world. He also had help - good apostles, branch leaders, companions, and fellow disciples. His dedication to preaching the Word to all people is nothing short of miraculous - and he was wonderfully good at being able to associate with all kinds of people. He came from a Jewish background, so he could teach in a way that the Jews could understand. He put himself in others' shoes - taking time to teach the outcasts, the imprisoned, and the weak. In many ways it's because of his desire to be all things unto all me that his mission was so strong. But he learned how to delegate, how to prioritize, and perhaps one of the most important things - to take a break every once an a while. I can really learn from his example.

An enchanted spindle might come in handy right now...

I've got fairytales on the brain because my roomies and I started watching "Once upon a Time" on TV today - it's pretty fun. In the middle of it I got distracted by all the things I have to do this week and I thought, gee, eternal sleep sounds kind of nice right now... but then again, I have the most fun when I'm busy.

So this week is the money maker - this is the one that separates the tough compadres from the peeshootin' wannabees. I'm honestly a little worried if I'm going to make it out of this week with everything sunnyside up, but I'm doing my best. This week I have to:

• teach 2 - hour long classes in the 9th grade reading class 
• teach and observe in the band class for 5 hours
• do 3 mid-terms
• write 7 essays
• take my teacher licensing exam
• get reviewed by the student teaching board
• perform in 2 concerts
• help put on a luncheon for guests from NY
• assist in coaching sessions
• start a research paper and an orchestral arrangement
• and maybe sleep

This is probably more for my benefit than for yours - it's good to see it all in one place. It seems a little crazy this week, but they're all very good things, and if I approach this week in a disciplined and optimistic manner, everything will be just fine. I guess a lot of the pressure is just realizing this is my LAST semester ever. Kinda crazy. I'm excited, but I still sometimes am under the impression that I'm 17 and I just got here. oops.


I had kind of a cool revelation today. This is going to sound sad, but this is one of the worst days of my semester - I taught in 2 of my classes today, and everything that could conceivably go wrong (just short of the school burning to the ground) did go wrong. None of my videos worked, and I completely lost the kids for the last 20 minutes of class. That doesn't sound like much normally, but this time it involved  sticky-tack up peoples noses, dancing on tables, questionable white board drawings, and quite possibly my reading of Miranda rights to one of my kids. I also might have gotten mistaken for a middle-school student. again. Ah well - here's the cool part:  I still want to teach!!! Sure, today I may not have inspired a deep love and knowledge of the Bill of Rights in all my students, but I got the attention of about a third of them. And that's a good start. They even remembered some of the hand motions I taught them to remember the amendments, and showed me on the way out the door, so that at least got through. But at the end of the day, when I'm dog tired, a little down, and a little worried about my own homework, I still love those silly, obnoxious, brilliant kids, and I really want to teach. Just learning that today, when life kind of sucks, is invaluable. I'm so grateful that I could experience this before I have my own class so that I know it's all really worth fighting for to me.

ZOOoooooooooom!

Hi guys :)  I should be doing homework right now, but I'm following the Swenson family tradition of listening to Christmas music WAY too early, and it got me all sappy and thinking about you all...how I miss you and your cute families, how cool I think you all are, and how you're all dying to hear all about my crazy adventures!

So I did a little research to see what the last thing I put on here was (you know, when dinosaurs roamed the earth?) and I owe you guys BIG. seriously bad juju mc-gumbo.

A lot has happened. Holy smokes, a LOT has happened. Here's the Reader's Digest version of the last little while:

• LAST semester of college!!!
• Picked up the harmonica
• Relief Society President
•  Playing in the hoity-toity orchestra and kicking trash
• Ran in the Temple to Temple Relay
• worked up to 6 miles w/o stopping with my awesome buddy Tia
• sorta dated a guy for a bit
• Teaching in 3 different schools every week - SO fun
• Turned 23 ...zoiks!
•   Supreme Mario Kart champion (aren't you proud of me, bros?)
• Taking an auto shop class
• co-captained a soccer team
• discovered the magical properties of cooking with pumpkin
• discovered the joys of mini-van camping 
• painted just for fun!!
• gave my first pop quiz 
• had a poem randomly published in a national magazine
• became a couponer
• climbed R mountain 
• got a funny scar (?) from a soccer ball (the marks from the creases are still on my leg, 5 weeks later)
• Had lunch with Elder and Sister Pinegar

Aaand I can't think of anything else cool. But there's a little piece of what's happening with me. Ever since I got to go get Nick and go on that huge adventure with him and Mom and Pops I feel like life has never stopped moving, and a little like I fell down a rabbit hole. It's exciting to be alive and to be able to meet so many different kinds of people and start teaching. I'm truly grateful for all that I have, all that I get to experience, and more importantly, all the people I get to know. Life is changing fast, and sometimes I wonder how an ordinary girl like me is going to meet all these extraordinary experiences but it's a fun ride.

More later this week!


 

DED.

This little Shel Silverstein knock-off has taken the death of my computer very hard. Don't worry - my computer will be back again someday (just like frosty), but the power cord I need is in the mail. This means that I will probably be getting it in the next month or so.
Ironically, I've gotten a lot of things done without my own computer to dawdle on. I've gotten some good job prospects, painted, repaired everything on my fixit list for the apartment, built a Sphinx with in a sand castle contest, and became the activities coordinator for my ward. huh. Maybe I'll make it permanent.
Peace

Whoa.

Guys! It's been a REeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally long time! How's it shaking? I was just stalking your blogs and I figured I'd better step up my blogging awesomeness - it's a little lame how long it's been. I'll post some more on the weekend, but for now I'll just whet your appetites with this video of Jack and me playing a gig at the local music club (mostly him - he's REALLY good). Oh yeah, I'm the cool one playing the accordion, haha!

Maybe my new favorite thing

I stumbled upon this treasure trove of hilarity today: awkwardfamilyphotos.com

 

I may have laughed until I cried. This. is. brilliant.

'Tis the Season

Here's to bringing joy to the whole world!